Pronounced "Fimmel," a future-mother-in-law is something I just realized that I'm getting. Very soon.
My mom never really got along that great with her MIL, and I could never figure out why, but I knew that I would be different. She'd love me! Even better than her real kid! Calling her "Mom" would be natural! We'd get along great!
Then I fell in love with an only child of a single parent. Pretty much no chance I'll ever be "more" anything that her own kid. However, I did expect that we'd have a great relationship! I love your son! He chose me! It'll be great! Love and happiness!!
Hello reality.
In the 6 1/2 years Mr. SB & I have been dating, I have spent a total of mayyyyyybe 6 hours with her. (I don't have a single picture of us together.) We certainly don't email or talk on the phone. And all inquiries of "How's your mom?" are met with "She's fine." And...... that's about the depth of our relationship.
We certainly don't have a *bad* relationship, it's more of a non-existent one. She came to visit us recently (3 of those previously mentioned 6 hours together were this week) and she was very pleasant and friendly. But not the sunshine & rainbows I had hoped for.
To be fair, Mr. SB & his mom don't really have a sunshine & rainbows, talk-all-the-time, we're BFF kind of relationship, so it's not realistic to expect I would. But it was a strange realization that I won't be part of either stereotype. She's certainly not a monster-in-law, nor will we buck the trend and be BFF. She leaves us alone to live our life together with support and without interference. We'll be two grown women who adore the same guy, in very different ways. And that I can live with.
Is your relationship with your FMIL/MIL what you expected it to be?
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