I can totally do this...

I am planning on wearing my hair half up and I love the hair fascinators I've seen on various wedding sites. However, I tend to like the expensive ones and there's normally something that I would tweak about a given design.

From Etsy.

I was inspired by Weddingbee's Mrs. Pineapple, to give DIYing my hair piece a shot. It didn't look too hard... and I'd be able to add/subtract components to my little hearts content.

I bought some flowers at Michaels.

Then I took the big one apart. The little blooms had the pearls glued to the middle and just plucked right off the stems. I was actually disappointed that there weren't some "normal" shaped smaller flower petals.

Elliot came to help his mom. And chase feathers.

My most successful attempts, bottom left being my fave. I'm actually not that happy with them. The good news is that this didn't take too much time or cost too much money (~$4 for the flowers & $2 for more feathers than I could possibly use). I'll try again with these materials, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to order one, because I don't want to spend more on additional materials if it's just going to look home-made-craft-y.

Tired out from helping mom.

We'll see if it looks better in a few days when I revisit it. Do failed DIY projects get you down?

MOH expectations

Watching the "Say yes to the dress" marathon on t.v. (and seeing the insane relationships these brides-to-be have with the people they bring to their dress shopping) made me think about the role of the MOH. (I always pronounce it as "moe" in my head. Anybody else?)

A little bit of history... (copied from source)

Throughout history, the maid of honor has been defined as the unmarried female that is chief attendant to the bride. ... In history, maids of honor were considered the best maids in a lady's house, as they attended to her every need in such a way that she wanted for nothing. As a wedding approached, a senior maid of honor was assigned to take care of the details, such as helping the bride with her gown and her bridal wreath. The maid of honor also helped the bride in preparing the wedding feast.

Today, the maid of honor has even more duties on her hands! As wedding grow more and more extravagant, sometimes brides are choosing to have more than one maid of honor in order to spread the work around and make preparation a bit easier.

The most important part of being a maid of honor hasn't changed, however, no matter how big those weddings can get. During those days before the wedding and right up to the minute your bride-to-be walks down the aisle, you will be a lifeboat of support in a sea of commitments and worry.

Searching for the modern list of MOH duties you find 21 listed on frugalbride.com, 24 listed on theknot.com, and a mere 13 listed on themaidofhonorguide.com.

At this point, I need to spend a little time on my soapbox.

Maid? Seriously, even that word is a little offensive (especially knowing it actually came from "maid" like, cleaner, servant, not cute little innocent maiden). Where do I get off being so completely obsessed with myself that I ask my sister to be my "maid" for the entire year (or how ever long your engagement is) leading up to my wedding. Which is basically a big party. (The marriage is a big deal, don't get me wrong. I'm taking that very very seriously. But the "wedding" part, let's be honest, it's just an excuse to throw an extravagant party. A fun, awesome excuse. And I'm very much looking forward to it. But basically a big party.)

Anyway, maybe it's because I'm getting married a little bit older... but I've been pretty busy successfully juggling my busy life for several years now. I'm proud to run a business and a home. I'm proud that I don't need a ton of help with the minutiae of my life. And I hope to keep my wedding to a size/undertaking that will be appropriate for my time, talent, and financial funds. Multi-tasking is a talent. Being overwhelmed and requiring your best friend to fulfill 24 tasks on a list to help your special day (year?) go exactly right is a little nutty.

Image source.

I chose my sister as my MOH more for the H part, rather than the M part. I am really and truly glad she can be with me that day standing next to me in support, while I make one of the most important commitments of my life. I value her opinion and am glad she'll be sharing this experience with me in front of our friends and family. I don't care if she can't label envelopes or misses a dress fitting appointment or can't plan a shower because we live (literally) thousands of miles apart.

I have read so many forum postings of people (both brides & MOHs) who feel very differently than I do. Friendships ruined because MOHs aren't doing "enough" for the bride. Or brides who are so demanding, the MOHs can't stand to be around them any more. I honestly can't imagine acting like that... or treating my sister/best friend in that way. I appreciate what she can do to help me. But more than anything, I appreciate what she has done for the past 24 years and look forward to celebrating my new life, with her as a part of it, on my wedding day. (**Hugs sis.**)


*Looks around and climbs quietly off the soapbox.*

How many duties have you given your MOH? Is she more of an emotional support or are you relying heavily on her to carry off your day?

Trying to gather it all together...

Fairly early on in my wedding planning, I made a very dense (er, like, 25 pictures on one powerpoint slide) inspiration board with absolutely no record of where I got the pictures from. Oops. Well, it's fine for bringing to vendors or working on ideas, but not so fine for blogging.

So now, as an experienced bride-to-be, I made another one and have discovered that I *still* want to put way too many pictures on a given board. (Those folks at Style Me Pretty make it look so easy!) It kind of took forever, but I'm happy with the result.

Image Sources: Flower cones, Invitation, Dress, Brownie pops, Flowers in bottles, Cake, Boutonniere, Green Dress, Candle centerpiece, Bouquet, Floral centerpiece.

Some of it is still not quite *right*, but having an inspiration board makes me feel better. (In particular, I have an inspiration bouquet that I can't find a digital photo of. When I get around to scanning it in, I'll update the board.) But I think this definitely reflects the natural, unfussy, elegant and traditional, but not dated or overly formal feel that we're going for. In green, yellow, & white. While this is an "overall" look, I like the idea of multiple inspiration boards: one for flowers, hair, etc. Those are a work in progress.

How many revisions did your inspiration board(s) undergo? How closely did it reflect your overall wedding in the end?

5x8 does not equal 5x7

Ack.

I ordered my STDs and received them yesterday. The quality is beautiful, there are no typos, they arrived on time. It's exactly what I ordered. Which is the problem.

I definitely noticed that postcards on 123print.com came in two sizes: 4 x 5 5/8" or 5 x 8" I thought the 8 sounded weird, but assured myself it was either a typo or no big deal. Welll.... it looks weird! I'm very into balance and symmetry (it's my job after all!) and having seen the 5 x7" proportions in photos all my life, I don't love the 5 x 8".


The good side. There is extra background on the front and behind that is extra white space. So if I *did* decide to go and cut off that one disproportionate inch, I wouldn't be messing with the overall look at all.

The bad side. Having to cut each one by hand. We only have ~40 to send, but not a ton extra to play with/mess up. Mr. SB (as soon as he saw how "distraught" I was over the extra length) immediately offered that we could cut it. I take that as an offer to help. :)

To cut or not to cut? This is my first picky, detailed, bridezilla moment... and I'm so conflicted!!

Image Source.

I *have* told myself multiple times that no one will care... but isn't that the truth with 95% of wedding related decisions?!?

Update: Mr. SB just told me the cut one looks better. Decision made. Project Runway & I will carefully cut 50 postcards later tonight.

Did you intentionally ignore something, just to regret it later?

Where are you from? Are you married?

I recently moved to a new town and work in a very social field. I meet TONS of new people each day and nearly every conversation begins...

"Where are you from? Are you married?"

I know they're just being polite, but I feel *this* on the spot.
Image Source.

You would think these are easy questions.

Question one: I lived in six different states by the time I was twelve and my family now lives in a state that I've never spent more than a summer in. Combine that with having gone to college in the midwest & grad school in Boston & San Francisco... and it's not an easy answer.

Map from Source. The red stars are places I've called home.

Question two: Appears more straightforward, doesn't it? However, for some reason... people apparently translate "fiance" into "husband."

All. The. Time.

A little history, for perspective's sake. Mr. SB & I started dating when we were 23. Around our two year anniversary, I asked if he thought we'd ever talk about marriage. The conversation did not go well. By the time our 6th anniversary rolled around (I'm now 29, if you're counting... practically an old maid in many people's books!), we lived together, had three furry babies, and did not speak of the "M" word. Though every person in my life asked me about it on a regular basis (Seriously. Professors, family, Facebook friends, even loan officers!). I would turn on the defensive juice every time some one asked me if I was engaged/married, out of sadness/annoyance/fear of jinxing. Now that I *am*, I am way more nervous about the jinxing part.

However, refer to the first sentence of this entry. New job. New town. Very social. Here's a typical conversation:

"Are you married?"
"I'm engaged."
"What does your husband do?"
"Well, he's my fiance, (they interject, "Oh, sorry!") and he works at such and such hospital."
"Oh, where did you and your husband meet?"

Image Source.

I can't even begin to count the number of times I've answered questions about "my husband" in a conversation that started "my fiance." At correction number two, I'm pretty uncomfortable. And usually let it slide. I told Mr. SB about this one day and he was very not-ok with it. He said I should keep correcting people. But it's not *that* big of a deal, right? I'm still pretty conflicted about the whole situation. Thankfully our engagement is short-ish, but I can't IMAGINE if it wasn't.

Have you experienced this?? How many times (per conversation!) do you correct someone?

Plan B

The main concern with a Northern California wedding in the early spring is the weather. Seeing as Mr. SB & I are very inspired by the natural beauty of the area and hope to have the ceremony outside, this is an extra big concern. At each place we visited, I made sure to go over (very specifically) what the Plan B would be.

Our Ceremony Plan A. On the beautiful winery lawn, under the setting sun.

Our winery also has a beautiful fountain courtyard which, sadly, we won't be using for the reception. Way too risky weather & temperature-wise.

I was pretty sure tents were out of our budget. And I only like the look of really fancy tents (fancy lighting, flooring, etc., not just a covering over your tables or chairs), which I *KNEW* was out of our budget.

So I asked the site director what she suggested. The room that I already had planned to have the reception in has a beautiful fireplace at one end, flanked by tall doors that look out on a balcony and stunning view of the area. Even in bad weather, I'm sure the view is gorgeous.

All pictures from Nicholson Ranch.

She explained to use that we could set up for the ceremony in here (sans tables), sweep the guests off to the wine caves for the cocktail hour while the caterers flip the room, and then we'd come back up to a fully re-decorated room for dinner. We were a little nervous about asking the caterer to do such an important (and quick) turn over. But she highly recommended a local company and when we met with them, they assured us that they were very familiar with the site and had done the flip before and it would be no problem. So, with a deep breath and fingers crossed for good weather... we signed up for both the site.. & the caterer!!

Image source.

Side note: the site director told us that last year, only three weddings were rained on... and two ended up with rainbows. What a nice bright side.

What back up plans were an important part of your wedding plans?

MMmmmm shoes

What (even slightly girly) girl doesn't love heels? I wear them every day to work and out with the 6" taller Mr. SB... but can't bring myself to spend designer money on them. But it doesn't mean a girl can't dream. Or try to convince herself that her wedding day would be the perfect day to splurge a little bit (or more than a "little" bit....)

With my practical eye on "re-wear-able" (and knowing that my dress is floor length)... there are beautiful Louboutins....

Aren't you gorgeously romantic...

Oh glam-tastic mirrored shoe..

And a classy Manolo, which is even more beautiful in royal blue...
But I couldn't get that one Sex and the City episode with Carrie's stolen shoes out of my head....

Oh Sedaraby, how beautiful you are. How re-wear-able. How well you'd match the lace of my dress....

But I can't justify your price tag, I just can't do it!!

Now, I'll be honest. I've bought my share of knock off handbags in my day (it was too tempting as a college kid visiting NYC & Beijing!!!). But I don't really support straight up knock offs any more... and some of those faux websites are just sketchy.

Anyway. Zappos.com doesn't make any "compare to" comparisons or pretend to be anything besides a pretty shoe. And I appreciate that. And the 80% off price tag.
Not the same, I know. Silver tones, not gold. Black sole, bulkier in general. Not instant glamour when you slip them on. I haven't ordered them yet, but I'm pretty happy with this find. Nice style, nice height, nice price. Now to bite the bullet and click "purchase"!

Have you talk yourself out of (or into) any "but it's my wedding!!" purchases?

To see or not to see

In real life, Mr. SB is a very decisive person with strong opinions. I love that about him; he can get things done quickly and is polite but effective. It also makes him great at his job. However, with regards to all things wedding he really and truly doesn't care about basically any specific aspect of the ceremony, planning, details, etc. Except one thing. My dress.

I mentioned before that Mr. SB had a strong (to put it mildly) interest in what my dress looked like. We sat together and went through bridal magazines and he was "his usual self", telling me exactly what he thought of every dress. I was kind of sad, because certain things were axed immediately (lace, straps) and I was feeling a little restricted. But as I mentioned, I took my rules, my MOH, and headed to the bridal shop, where I found (and impulse bought) a beautiful gown.Over the next few weeks, I stressed over my decision, not because I didn't love my dress, but because I was afraid he would be disappointed. So I finally told Mr. SB how much it was worrying me. I even asked him if he wanted to see the dress, but he declined. He explained it in the following way. The only thing he remembers about any wedding he's ever attended is whether or not the bride looked good (eek! no pressure!) and in his mind, many wedding dresses are inherently unflattering. Then he let me know that if I was happy with my choice, he was certain he would be too because he trusts my style and fashion sense (on a superficial note) and knows I will be beautiful (on a sentimental note). I was relieved to hear both comments, because I know he was being honest. And let myself feel better.

Cut forward 6 weeks. I bought a new bridal magazine for a plane trip and sitting next to Mr. SB (he was still peeking at the dresses) I see a FULL PAGE ad of my dress! I tried to keep my eyes from bugging, but I told him (several pages later) that my dress was in the magazine. He then flipped through and would pause on certain pages, including "my" page!

"Do you want to know which it was?"
"Did I pause on it?"
"Yes."
"Well, that's a good sign. So, no."

I feel like that was the final comment on the subject. I do feel silly for over-reacting because I know he (like all grooms) would have loved my look on the big day, but I'm glad we talked it over (yay for open communication in relationships!) and can relax about it.

Side comment (should maybe even be a separate post, but w/e): I know some people feel the look of the dress is totally, completely special and the Mr. should know nothing about it... the thought of seeing it is beyond shocking (shocking, I tell you!!). Some brides-to-be describe panic attacks and tears over the thought of him having seen it. The best advice I heard was: it's what ever works for you. If you value his opinion in that way, take him shopping with you! If the idea of keeping it under lock and key is more your style, then store it at a friends house and delete all digital pics. Mr. SB knowing a little something works for us. And that's what matters.

Did you stress about anything that seems silly after it's resolution?

Flower cones on double duty

This is an approximate set up of our ceremony. At the front, there will be two wine barrels with flower arrangements on top. I think it DEFinitely needs a little color up the middle aisle. I feel like rose petals are too wasteful... so a little *pop* on the chairs along the aisle seems about right.


I have seen some pretty great pictures of DIY flower cones. I'm not picky in my flower selection (more to come on that topic), but I love the natural shape of these arrangements. I love that we can use greenery and as much or little color as we want for the flowers, paper, and ribbon.

Source

Source

Source

This sounds like a perfect watch-tv-fold-paper craft project. And then after the ceremony, you could re-use the cone flowers as loose centerpiece flowers for the reception.

Both images from Source

Do you think I'll be able to double-duty the blooms? What will I need to consider in planning for that?

Goodies

Oh wedding favors. I was kind of hoping this would be something that could be planned and taken care of early and soundly checked off the infamous to-do list. I asked Mr. SB for input on wedding favors... and was met with a totally blank stare.

"We give our guests presents?"
"Well, yes honey, don't you remember from the other weddings we've gone to?"
"Honestly, no. Not at all."

Ok, so with the favors-are-terribly-low-on-his-radar input, I started thinking about what I like to receive. Remembering that many of my guests are travelling, I didn't want anything large or fragile or so unexciting it would be left in hotel rooms all over Napa Valley. I really didn't want to give anything with my name or wedding date on it. And I have a quite a sweet tooth. I really like the idea of color coordinated candy buffet, but our guest list is the max size for the reception site. I'm not even sure where the cake is going to go, much less a whole buffet table for candy.

So if we can't have a candy buffet, how's about individually wrapped items. I adore Bakerella. That is one creative lady. Her cake and cupcake pops are pretty much the cutest things I've ever seen. Here are some examples that fit into the "spring time" feel of our wedding.

Ok, this one isn't a pop, but HOW adorable is the cupcake bun/brownie patty/sugar cookie fries. Seriously!!

Unfortunately, she didn't have anything specifically bridal, but I found some similar ideas from others.

Source

Unfortunately (again), gorgeous long stem strawberries probably won't be in easy supply in March.

Source

Now these little brownie pop gems are aMAzing. They are also quite pricey (fair enough, I might add, look at the detail on the "girl" pop!). However, if we took Bakerella's instructions to make cake pops and strawberries' decorating ideas, couldn't we come up with a passable favor?? I don't want to attempt this on my own, so I've already called in a request for a cake pop trial run while I'm home with my family over Christmas. I'll make sure to bring my camera and see if everything is as easy as they say...!

I'm worried this is too ambitious, especially because they'll need to be made fairly last minute. (*Side note: As a possible back up, sister B's boyfriend works full time making chocolate at a very high end chocolate shop... maybe I'll suggest their gift is a boat load of little brownie balls? :)

Would you be happy to receive this as a favor? Or is it a waste of effort?

STDs

(Ok, I admit it. I still get a *tiny* kick out of calling Save-the-Dates "STDs." How 7th grade of me!!)

Anyway, we needed to send these for several reasons.
#1. All of our guests are from out of town and travel to California isn't always inexpensive or easy.
#2. Since we live in a tourist destination, I want them to have a chance to have options in booking flights and hotel (even though this should be easier in the off season).
#3. Since we're getting married in March, the Christmas rush will keep everyone busy in the months immediately prior to the wedding and I'm worried my invite (and their reservation making) might get lost in the piles of cards & bills.

Man, oh man, I did not want to spend alot of money on them. To me, STDs are a functional item, not a decorative or *fun* one. There are some cuuuute options (custom snow globes, anyone??), but, nothing I felt like dedicating a decent portion of my budget or spare time towards.

I was not into the magnet idea from early on. I can't really see anyone wanting a magnet with my face or name on it. That they'll definitely throw away. I mean, they'll have the card and either write the info down or keep it next to their calendar. Is the magnetism necessary?? (Though the example below is perfectly nice...)

Source

Somehow, Mr. SB got wind that people did photobooth STDs and thought it would be a cute idea (definitely his most specific wedding input to date). So I worked with the idea, but hit some road blocks. You can't send a long skinny strip. I didn't want to make it a magnet (I sound like such a hater!). Custom designing a card or inserting the strip into a card was more money and effort than I was hoping to spend. He was only so-so on the idea of a faux-to booth shoot (and I have no idea where one would find a photobooth in this area).

Source

I liked the idea of postcard STDs: simple, inexpensive, cheaper postage, very functional. Most of the pre-made ones just seemed a little generic and (obviously) I didn't want to pay someone to design something for me. I had ordered some postcards from 123print.com for my business and was happy with the quality and timeliness of their product & service. They let you upload your own design for free and the 5x7" shiny postcards seemed a nice size.

Enter Microsoft Office. This time it was Microsoft Powerpoint. I tried to incorporate some of our beautiful e-photos, green color theme, and the photobooth idea. It was a total fail. I really did not love how it turned out at. all.

But now we were less than 6 months out and I really wanted to get these dumb things rolling... so I decided to K.I.S.S. it. (Keep it simple, stupid. A great reminder for many aspects of wedding planning that take on a mind of their own.) We had these beautiful engagement photos and nothing specific to do with them. So I got to thinking... what if we printed a favorite photo, sans text, on the 5x7" glossy postcard & the info on the back. That way, people could save the photo of us for scrapbooking.. or framing?.. or.. whatever people do with pictures of other people. And it wouldn't immediately be outdated after the wedding.

Front of card.

Back of card.

One oops that I noticed later: I didn't write "Formal invitations to follow." I guess they'll figure it out soon enough.

Total cost: I had to order 50 and it cost $29.18 including shipping. Not too shabby. Unfortunately, I think they require 44 cent first class stamps (because they're larger than standard postcards), but I really liked the larger size and think it's worth it. We did save money not having to order envelopes. They're going out 5 1/2 months early... a little late according to "the rules", but I still think it is sufficient time for our guests to make arrangements.

End result: Successful project!!

Did you send STDs? How much effort did you put into them?

A fun little project

One little thing I came across in my wedding planning was the idea of a groom's cake. They are SO. FUN. And since Mr. SB and I don't really throw parties (even birthday) for ourselves, I can't think of another time that we would ever get a ridiculously elaborate sculpted cake. I think it would be a perfect dessert at our rehearsal dinner. And let's be honest Ace of Cakes & Cake Boss are great shows.

Unfortunately, I'm having a hard time deciding on what the design might be....

There are a million sports options: stadiums, footballs, logos, etc. Mr. SB is into sports, but not a die hard. Lakers, maybe, but my gut feeling is that he wouldn't *love* a sports cake.

Getting closer... we live in wine country and like to experiment with new beers and cocktails, but there's no "one" classic drink that would be appropriate for Mr. SB.

Eek! Seriously??

SL, Guinness, & gun from Source.

Source
Ok, he DOES like poker, but again... not all *that* much.

Source
We ARE gamers.. well one specifically, but it's a PC game, so no cool console to recreate and we're both fairly bashful about admitting it. So parading our dorkiness in front of all our friends and family *probably* wouldn't go over that well.

Source
Ok, one thing Mr. SB DOES love is meat. This disgusting "cake" above is actually meatloaf & mashed potato "frosting"!!! I would never, ever, ever allow that near my wedding, but a "meat" cake might be cute... a huge steak perhaps? He had done some of those "eat a huge steak, get your picture on the wall" contests... Hmm... And one of our faves is red velvet cake (meat?) with cream cheese (fat? *gross* but color appropriate frosting)... Double hmm..

Thanks to the wonderful world of Google, I came across a whole blog posting on meat cakes?!
Ok, I'm pretty excited about this idea!! Now to find a baker in the area...

Are you doing a groom's cake? What else could I consider??

My first DIY attempt

One of the most prevalent topics in wedding planning is invitations. There are sooo many strange words for us rookies: letterpress, pocketfold, cardstock, A6, hand cancel. While my eyes swam at the many beautiful options and choices, another aspect jumped out at me. How unbelievably much these darn things would cost!!

Source

I decided early on that I could do without letterpress (though beautiful) and I was determined to give (semi) DIY a chance. Since this is basically a destination wedding, I knew I'd have to include a lot of information, so a pocketfold with multiple inserts quickly seemed to meet my needs. I found a great example of what I had in mind on weddingbee.com and another on the Cards & Pockets blog.

Source

I decided that I should give the DIY a try (even before we had a venue or date!) because if we had to order them, I wanted plenty of time to shop around and design.

Green. Pocketfold. Belly band. Grapes. Here we go.

Step 1: Microsoft Publisher. I already had it free on my computer. Hadn't used it before, but I was relatively comfortable with Word & Powerpoint and it was similar. (Side note: I don't know how to use Photoshop or anything fancier than that. Microsoft Office has helped me with a whole host of design tasks: business & personal.) Especially for the little inserts (on the right hand side of the pocketfold), I wanted similar styles with different sized paper and Publisher was super easy to figure out.


Step 2: www.istockphoto.com I search for most of a morning on various graphics websites and found a perfect image for ~$10. I just copied the free version to play around with.

Step 3: www.cardsandpockets.com Their sample sets were perfect for playing around with and had sufficient extra paper for a few mistakes. I found the company easy to work with, timely, and the quality was excellent. You don't have to worry about cutting or matching, well well worth it, in my mind.

Step 4: A morning in PJs with a pot of coffee & my handy at home printer (Nothing fancy, a $150 Canon).

Working on the wording & layout.


Lots of things will end up differently/better. In particular, that map is a disaster at the moment. BTW, that little "Respond" card is a mail-able size postcard for our guests to RSVP with and it fits nicely into the invite suite.


Let's be honest, there's no chance I have money in my budget for calligraphy. I think this pretty little font on my computer worked JUST fine.
(*A great tip from my MOH: Remember your audience. My family is not uber-wedding savvy. And will not cry over a lack of hand lettering on something they will immediately throw away.)

Optional Step 5: A frivolous little detail that I fell in love with was envelope linings. It was seriously easy and I really love how it turned out (especially when combined with the matching belly band). Remember how I mentioned Mr. SB is a good paper cutter?? :) Mrs. Champagne has a great tutorial. I used glue, not tape and didn't love the little line you can see in the envelope pic above. The paper I used was left over scrapbooking paper from the clearance bin at Michael's. I liked that it was a little thicker, so held up well with the wrapping around the invite, though almost anything will work, so I'll be keeping my eye out for various green papers over the next few months.

Voila!! I am marvelously happy with how they turned out and sent the copy to my family with a positive response. With this little boost to my confidence, I decided to move forward with the plan to DIY these. Stay tuned for the final, final result!

What major projects are more reasonable than you anticipated?